When Australians open their eyes in the morning, they think about sharks and how unfair it is for our species to share a planet with such cruel predators.
Our powerlessness over sharks is a universal embarrassment. Here we are, a supposedly advanced species able to print on both sides of 100% recycled paper, yet at the complete mercy of a fearsome set of sharp teeth appearing out of nowhere to consume us.
To compensate for our embarrassment, we eat everything in the animal kingdom that is not a shark. Some people even eat ants, which is a highly unnecessary practice. Seriously, stepping on ants is enough to demonstrate our superiority, there’s no need to eat them as well.
To drive our message home, we eat a lot of fish and other water species, including whales 🐳 that are completely harmless and even if they accidentally swallowed us they would immediately eject us out of their blow holes, an indisputably awesome experience and also how I react when I eat too much wasabi.
I won't mention eating octopuses because I am still talking about it with my therapist.